Let’s be honest—feedback has a bit of a PR problem. For some reason, the word “feedback” makes people nervous. Say, “Can I give you some feedback?” and you’ll see a wave of dread wash over their face. Why? Because we’ve turned feedback into this big, scary thing when really, it’s supposed to be a tool to help us improve, not a hammer to smash us down.
So, how do we shift that narrative? How do we make feedback something people actually want instead of something they brace themselves for? The key is simple: give it often, make it clear, and—most importantly—make sure people walk away knowing exactly what to do next.
Why Feedback Has a Bad Rep
In some workplaces, especially in cultures where directness is seen as harshness, feedback is basically code for “I’m about to tell you all the things you messed up.” That’s a huge problem. People tend to think feedback is only given when something major happens (read: a screw-up). And because it’s often sugar-coated to soften the blow, the message gets lost. You end up with vague “I just think you could be a bit more proactive” comments, and no one knows what that actually means.
So, how do we fix this?
Make Feedback a Regular Thing: Even the Little Stuff Counts
The first step is to give feedback all the time. Don’t wait for the big things to happen—catch the small stuff. Tell people when they’ve nailed something, even if it’s just a tiny win. That way, when there’s something that needs fixing, it doesn’t feel like a surprise attack.
Think of it this way: You don’t wait until your car breaks down to take it to the mechanic, right? You do regular check-ups. Feedback should work the same way. It’s about maintenance, not emergency repairs. Plus, when you’re highlighting the good and the not-so-good on a regular basis, people start to see feedback as part of the process, not a punishment.
Good Feedback is Like a GPS: Specific, Clear, and Actionable
Now, just giving feedback isn’t enough. It has to be quality feedback—no vague nonsense. Be specific. If someone’s presentation missed the mark, don’t just say “It could’ve been better.” Point out exactly what worked, what didn’t, and what they can do to improve. Be like a GPS: direct them to their destination, with turn-by-turn instructions.
And do it as close to the action as possible! Don’t wait until next week’s meeting to tell them their slides were confusing. Feedback has a shelf life, and it’s freshest when served right after the event.
Direct But Not Brutal: How to Give Tough Feedback Without Being a Jerk
Giving tough feedback is tricky, but here’s the thing—you can be direct without being a jerk. It’s all about your approach. Start by stating your intention: you’re giving feedback because you want them to succeed, not because you’re out to tear them down.
Frame the conversation as a chance to course-correct, not a judgment session. Offer specific examples, show how the issue is affecting things, and most importantly, provide a way forward. You’re not just pointing out the problem—you’re giving them the tools to fix it.
Oh, and always remember: direct doesn’t mean unkind. You can tell it like it is and be respectful at the same time.
Building a Feedback Culture: It Starts With You
Creating a feedback culture takes time, but it’s worth it. It starts with you, especially if you’re in a leadership position. Model the behavior—give feedback often, and make it clear that feedback isn’t just for when things go wrong.
Incorporate feedback into everyday interactions. Turn status updates into opportunities to give shout-outs or quick nudges. Did the team hit a deadline? Give them a virtual high-five. Is something behind schedule? Ask what can be done to get back on track. When feedback becomes part of the regular flow, people start to embrace it instead of dreading it.
Start Small, Create a Ripple Effect
If you want to build a feedback culture, don’t overcomplicate it. Start small. Start with yourself. Just begin incorporating feedback into your conversations, even if it’s just a quick “great job” or a funny meme to celebrate a win. The positive stuff is the easiest to give, and once you’ve built that habit, the constructive feedback will flow more naturally, too.
You don’t need a grand strategy. Just get the ball rolling, and before you know it, you’ll have a team that thrives on feedback—without the freak-outs.